By Joan Morris
CONTRA COSTA TIMES

IN A SOCIETY that seems to breathe in chaos and exhale confusion, we live a good portion of our everyday lives in a cacophony of the senses.

The guy next to you on the BART train is screaming into his cell phone. The teenager behind you is plugged into an iPod and keeping the cadence by pounding on the back of the seat. The scenery flashing by the window
is a kaleidoscope of images.

As you think about the workday that lies beyond the station, the world seems to close in even tighter. There are deadlines to meet, obligations to keep, people to talk to, people to avoid.

It's a pace to which you can become accustomed, perhaps even inured -- unless you are among the 50 million or so people in the country -- roughly 20 percent of the population -- who fall in the category of
" highly sensitive person."

The highly sensitive person is someone whose nervous system is so acutely attuned that loud noises, crowds, busy streets, stress and even powerful aromas provide too much stimulation. It can be like living in a state of agitation, of listening to the sound of fingernails being
dragged across the blackboard for hours at a time.

The HSP condition is more properly identified as a character trait, and while history has recorded plenty of sensitive people, it wasn't until 1996, when Elaine Aron wrote her book "The Highly Sensitive Person" (Broadway, $15), that experts and laymen alike came to recognize the condition.

For Ted Zeff, a San Ramon psychologist who teaches classes and workshops in dealing with stress and insomnia, Aron's book was like turning on a light and seeing himself for the first time.

"I always thought there was something wrong with me," Zeff says. "I couldn't concentrate with the classroom noise, I didn't like being in crowded places. Then the book came out and I answered 'yes' to all the
traits listed. You look at your life, and realize it was the sensitive nervous system that created all those things."

Zeff has now written his own book, which carries the blessing of Aron." The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" (New Harbinger Publications, $13.95; www.hspsurvival.com), published late last year,
has just entered its second printing. The book, which carries a cover done in delicate, calming shades of yellow, is filled with tips, suggestions and guidelines for quieting the noise and calming the troubled waters the highly sensitive people can find themselves in.

But the book also celebrates the HSP condition, a trait that Zeff points out is not all negative. Highly sensitive people are insightful; they often are artists and writers. They make excellent counselors and are incredibly loyal to their employers, co-workers, family and friends. Practically every great leader in history has had a highly
sensitive person as an adviser, someone who could gauge the feelings of the populace and recommend avenues of action.

"There are lots of positive characteristics of HSP," Zeff says. "We have the ability to deeply appreciate beauty, art and music. We're very intuitive, we notice potential dangers, and when we're not feeling overwhelmed, we can experience joy and love much more deeply than the
non-HSP."

The key, however, is in managing the jumble that cascades around us. The highly sensitive people, Zeff says, must always be prepared. If they know they will be going into a loud situation, they should carry
earplugs with them. Long waits in noisy places, such as airports, can be made bearable by plugging into an iPod or Walkman and listening to soothing music.

It is the unexpected that can create discomfort, Zeff says. Driving in a car, on a quiet residential street, one probably wouldn't expect a car to pull alongside and start blasting the stereo or honking the horn.

Zeff recalls a peaceful moment in Hawaii, where he was surrounded by lush foliage. His tranquillity was shattered by a cell-phone user who was shouting angrily about selling stocks.

The reaction is more than just irritation. In the highly sensitive person, it is like a physical and emotional attack. It jangles the nerves and can trigger panic.

Zeff recommends that the highly sensitive person -- and those who aren't -- create morning and nighttime routines to center themselves in the moment and prepare for what lies ahead. In the morning, a few
minutes of meditation can extend the calmness throughout the day.

At night, Zeff says, we should take care to "turn off the day" by taking a half-hour to ourselves. Turn off the television, turn off the computer and turn off the stress.

We live in a highly charged world, Zeff says. Cell phones intrude into what was once personal time. Children are bombarded with constant stimulation through video games, music and television. The 40-hour work week continues to stretch, and even the pace of recreation has increased as we try to cram as much activity into our leisure hours and vacations as possible.

And even though the traits that define HSP are better known, Zeff says, they still can carry a stigma. Young boys who are HSP are prodded to be more rough and tumble; adults struggle not to show their sensitive
sides, which can be regarded as a weakness.

It's part of the give-and-take of being HSP, of being the minority, Zeff says. He encourages his clients to not become "an insensitive sensitive person," but to work with others and, slowly, to initiate change.

"Compromise is so much the key," Zeff says. "We have to always be negotiating with the 80 percent of the population who isn't HSP."

Joan Morris writes on health issues. Reach her at 925-977-8479 or jmorris@cctimes.com.

SLOWING DOWN

Sometimes finding the quiet peace in the middle of a hectic day is difficult. But here are five tips you can try as you make your way through the day.

Utilize red lights and traffic jams as cues to spend time practicing relaxation techniques.

Take slow, walking meditations in nature to stay calm and focused in the present.

Talk more slowly and spend some time in silence.

Try mindful eating during at least one meal a week without engaging in any other stimuli, such as reading, watching television or talking.

Transform the ring of the telephone into a relaxation cue by not answering the phone until the third or fourth ring, if possible, while using the precious moments to relax deeply.

-- From "The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" by Ted Zeff